What can the elephants of Africa teach us about mentoring? They’re mammals, but unlike us, they have four legs and a trunk that has tens of thousands of muscles. They also have appetites that cause them to consume up to 300 pounds of food daily, and many of them weigh up to six tons. They are the largest land-based mammal, with a life expectancy of about 70 years. And because they’re a powerful herd animal, they have a distinctl “human” problem with a lesson for us all.

According to a 1997 article in Time magazine,¹ in the mid-1990s park rangers working in Pilanesberg National Park, South Africa, were confronted with a situation that was both distressing and potentially costly. White rhinos were being savagely gored to death by young male elephants. The elephants had become massive teen rebels armed with sharp tusks and flush with testosterone, uprooting trees and snorting dust in the faces of other animals just for fun. It was only a matter of time before some even more serious incident occurred. Regretfully, shooting the young elephants had to be considered.²

Fortunately for the young bulls of Pilanesberg, the park rangers speculated that the real problem was not the young bulls but the lack of older bulls, who had been killed by poachers for their ivory. So they decided to bring in old male bulls. To the delight of the rangers, these mature bulls modeled acceptable elephant behavior to the young bulls, and the problem was resolved.

The concept of the old bulls and the young bulls has inspired me as both a teacher and writer. My interest has been in developing a school-based mentoring program called RiskMEN that models Resilience, Integrity, Self-discipline, and Knowledge in boys between the ages of 14 and 16. From experience, I can vouch that mentoring does make an impact on boys as well as on the men who teach them.

Children and teenagers behave more like herd animals than we would like to think. The benefits of mentoring for the mentee—the young bull—are substantial. Like the testosterone-charged elephant orphans of Pilanesberg, contact with wise mentors can alter negative and antisocial behavior. A 1995 study on the Big Brothers Big Sisters program reported that youth with mentors were 52 percent less likely to skip school,³ 46 percent less likely to begin using illegal drugs,⁴ 37 percent less likely to skip a class,⁵ 33 percent less likely to strike someone,⁶ and 27 percent less likely to begin using alcohol.⁷ Further, in school-based mentoring, the youth were more confident, more positive about relationships, and had better attitudes.⁸

Another study of the Big Brothers Big Sisters school-based mentoring program evaluated 126,000 youth in the United States and singled out youth in 76 school programs.⁹ Just 9 percent of the mentors said that academic improvement was their central goal,¹⁰ although for the most part, the mentoring took place at school and involved some academic activities. Although the mentoring programs offered in individual schools varied, most targeted disadvantaged students. Teachers indicated that 21 percent were engaged in misconduct such as stealing, 22 percent had problematic school behaviors, and 43 percent had parental relationship problems.¹¹ By comparing the mentored students to nonmentored students, the researchers found that mentoring resulted in improved academic performance, improved assignment submission, reduced misbehavior, greater scholastic efficacy, reduced skipping of school, and greater connectedness to a supportive adult.¹²

In my own RiskMEN groups, I’ve noticed the real self-esteem that results from engaging boys in community service activities. What is less widely known is that mentoring also has powerful benefits for the mentor.

The US Department of Labor notes that mentors derive the following benefits from their experience. They have increased self-esteem, a sense of accomplishment, a network of volunteers, insight into childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood, as well as increased patience and improved supervisory skills.¹³ Apparently, older bulls need younger bulls too!

three kinds of mentoring

There are three kinds of mentoring. The first is spontaneous or unintentional mentoring, which happens constantly. Whether we like it or not, we exert an influence on others just by spending time with them. Teenage boys who hang out with each other are constantly learning and teaching their peers. When adults spend time with children and teenagers, they become spontaneous mentors, even when they weren’t intending to mentor at all.

The second is collaborative mentoring, which is based on participation. Our children need our presence more than our presents. This method of mentoring is more deliberate, working in partnership. The mentor is a wise facilitator who uses both formal and informal opportunities to deliberately encourage, support, and develop the potential of the mentee through relationships. This model is used in many schools, pairing a younger student with an older one or with a wise community member.

Third is the mentor-protégé model in which the mentor is extremely knowledgeable in a particular field—an expert. Here the goal of the mentor is to instruct in a process controlled by him. It’s the master painter teaching a particular style to his young student or a violin maker who passes on his technique.

Most of us are not expert enough to adopt the protégé model in our mentoring. We are more inclined to follow the collaboration model, simply befriending and networking with a young person, sharing knowledge, skills, and activities that develop their sense of connectedness, direction, and actions. We can do it very informally through a shared interest in such things as hobbies and sports.

Some mentoring programs involve elementary-school-aged children and others post–high school. Some are for people with disabilities, while others focus on economic or social hardship. Still others foster excellence and academic improvement. Mentoring can be as diverse as working with young, single mothers to facilitating adventure activities with at-risk youth.

Elephants teach us much about mentoring. Old bulls are essential to the well-being and development of the young. As the rangers at Pilanesberg rightly observed, the problem with today’s young bull is because of the lack of old bulls who care.

the circle of courage

Anyone can act as a mentor to young people, even without formal training, although that is desirable. If you care, try to naturally incorporate the following four core values into your daily interaction with youth and young adults.

golden rules for mentors

Commitment is essential. The long-term impact reflects the amount of time you give, your consistency, and your predictability. Like all relationships, the impact grows with commitment.

Training and support are desirable. One-on-one mentoring between an adult and a legal minor requires skill, an awareness of the pitfalls, and ongoing support. You may even need legal clearance to work with children.

Flexibility is necessary. Not all mentors and mentees match well. Mutual choice can be beneficial, and periodic assessment of the mentoring relationship is crucial.

Participation in a proven program is advantageous. Why reinvent the wheel?

Mentor to give, not to receive. You will find your mentoring rewarding and fulfilling when you are nonjudgmental and helpful.

Old Bull, Young Bull by Brad Watson	From the April 2025 Signs